A Reading and a Homily for Wednesday Evening (October 20, 2021)

Due to time constraints I am only posting a reading and homily for this Wednesday evening.

The Reading

Matthew 7: 1-14 The Common Sense Behind Right Behaviour

“Don’t criticise people, and you will not be criticised. For you will be judged by the way you criticise others, and the measure you give will be the measure you receive.”

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and fail to notice the plank in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me get the speck out of your eye’, when there is a plank in your own? You fraud! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you can see clearly enough to remove your brother’s speck of dust.”

“You must not give holy things to dogs, nor must you throw your pearls before pigs—or they may trample them underfoot and turn and attack you.”

“Ask and it will be given to you. Search and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened for you. The one who asks will always receive; the one who is searching will always find, and the door is opened to the man who knocks.”

“If any of you were asked by his son for bread would you be likely to give him a stone, or if he asks for a fish would you give him a snake? If you then, for all your evil, quite naturally give good things to your children, how much more likely is it that your Heavenly Father will give good things to those who ask him?”

“Treat other people exactly as you would like to be treated by them—this is the essence of all true religion.”

“Go in by the narrow gate. For the wide gate has a broad road which leads to disaster and there are many people going that way. The narrow gate and the hard road lead out into life and only a few are finding it.”

Silence is kept.

May your word live in us
and bear much fruit to your glory

The Homily

Treating Other People in the Spirit of Jesus

When we criticize someone, we find fault with them. We point their perceived faults or mistakes to their attention in what may be a disapproving way. Criticism, however, is not always clear-cut.

What one individual perceives as criticism of themselves may not be intended as criticism. We may be simply expressing our concerns about a particular situation, pointing to their attention something that worries us or which we regard as important. They, however, read disapproval into what we are saying.

Someone may give us a compliment which may contain a backhanded, or indirect, criticism.

Criticism can also be unspoken. It can be expressed by unresponsiveness, by silence, by non-verbal cues—body language, and by our actions. 

Let’s take a look at several forms of unspoken criticism. Like spoken criticism, they express an unfavorable opinion of someone else. The individual expressing that opinion may not be consciously aware of what they are doing. The individual toward whom they are expressing that opinion may not initially realize that they are the target of unspoken criticism.

Unresponsiveness. An individual who does not reply to text messages, emails, or phone calls in a timely manner or at all may be conveying the message that the individual who texted, emailed, or phoned them is not worthy of their time, their respect, their courtesy, their kindliness, or their sympathetic feeling. 

Lack of responsiveness may have become a habit with a particular individual, but it also suggests that they do not give much thought to the feelings of others. They are not overly-concerned about causing inconvenience or hurt to others. 

They may have little ability to care about how others feel, much less understand or share the feelings of others. 

They themselves may not have been shown much empathy as a child and have not learned to be empathetic as an adult. We are not born with empathy. We learn it when we are children. 

The good thing is that adults who did not learn empathy as child can learn empathy as an adult. They can learn to put themselves in other people's shoes. They are not stuck being unempathetic. 

They may have a legitimate reason for not responding in a timely fashion, but if it emerges as a recurring pattern of behavior, then it more likely reflects their attitude toward people. 

After a time, the excuse, “I was busy,” may ring hollow. They are simply telling us that we in their mind are not worth taking time from whatever they are doing to return a text message, email, or phone call. They rank us very low in importance in their priorities.

Silence. People may respond to us with silence because they have never given thought to what we are saying, they want to spare our feelings, or they have been caught off guard and do not have a suitable response.

If, however, they consistently respond to us in that way, they may be conveying to us the message that they do not respect us and they do not believe that we are worthy of the courtesy of a response. They may be saying that we are not worthy of their trust. 

They may be angry with us for some reason and are deliberately ignoring us. They want us to feel the pain of being snubbed. They are letting us know that in their mind we are not worthy of their sympathy, kindness, and forgiveness. This is how unfavorable their opinion of us is. 

While their silence is not spoken criticism, it is criticism. They are expressing their unfavorable opinion of us and showing their disapproval of us.

They may act this way because they have never learned any other way of expressing themselves and they themselves may have been targets of what they perceived as disapproval and rejection expressed in this manner. Childhood experiences can affect the way that we communicate with other people.

Non-Verbal Cues. People can not only convey positive and negative feelings toward someone else with their body language, but they can also express criticism. They may frown disapprovingly at us as we pass them in the hall. They may turn their bodies away from us and avoid our gaze when we are talking to them. They may give us a hostile stare in the grocery store. 

We need to be careful, however, in how we interpret body language. Someone may frown at us because they have vision problems, and they are focusing their eyes. They may turn their body away and avoid our gaze because they are shy. They may stare at us because they are curious about us, or they are concerned and worried about us.

Actions. Among the indirect ways of expressing criticism of someone is talk about them when they are not around, point their perceived faults and mistakes to other people’s attention and otherwise talking about them unfavorably or in a disapproving manner. 

In high school and college, it is not uncommon for students to try to turn other students against someone of whom they have formed an unfavorable opinion. This can lead to bullying and other forms of harassment that leave the target feeling intimidated and humiliated.

What Jesus says about criticism in today’s reading applies to these forms of unspoken criticism as well as spoken criticism. The measure that we give may become the measure that we receive. If we treat others unkindly, they may in return treat us unkindly.

We may not think about what we are doing and what we do may not be intentionally hurtful, but the individual to whom we are doing it does not know that. Human beings cannot read each other’s minds. Even very close friends who know each other extremely well can make bad judgment calls and get things mixed up. 

We may not be happy with a friend who talks too much and sometimes ignores our boundaries. But that same friend may talk a lot because we do not talk very much, and they ignore our boundaries because we have never made clear to them what our boundaries are. 

What we do affects other people. While we cannot control someone else’s behavior, we can trigger their behavior. It is something that we as human beings and as Christians should bear always in mind.

When Jesus said, “Treat other people exactly as you would like to be treated by them,” I also believe that he had the same thing in mind. 

When Jesus talks about treating other people exactly as we would like them to treat us, he is talking about treating them in the spirit of love. Jesus is talking about us treating them with compassion, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, patience, gentleness, and self-control. He is talking about treating them the way God treats us. 

What he is not talking about treating them in a fashion which might make us feel perfectly happy but would leave them feeling very unhappy. For example, we decide that we do not want them to talk to us, so we do not talk to them. 

I don’t think that is what Jesus had in mind. It is not in keeping with the spirit of love which Jesus emphasizes in his teaching and which he demonstrated in earthly ministry.

Jesus taught us to act in a kind, loving way toward other people. Jesus practiced what he taught. 

Jesus did not turn his back on the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law. He engaged with them. He ate with them. He listened to them. He talked with them. When he did not agree with them, he told them so. When he had concerns about their teaching, he shared his concerns with them. Jesus was modeling for us how we should relate to other people.

“You must be kind,” Jesus taught, “as your Father in heaven is kind.” To be lenient in our judgment of other people and not to be strongly disapproving of them, to make allowances for them, and to be generous in whatever measure that we use in our dealings with them—these are the things that he instructed us to do—to remove the speck of sawdust from our own eye so we could see clearly to help our brother or sister remove the plank from their eye.

Take time that week to reflect on what Jesus taught and practiced and then apply it your own dealings with other people. I believe that it will make a real difference in your life.